I don’t know what to tell you.  I cannot explain what happened without sounding like a crazy person.  There I was Tuesday morning, minding my own business, when out of the blue comes this young lady who gets on my subway train and makes a b-line right for me.  I swear I’d never laid eyes on this woman before that day.  She had blonde hair, blue eyes, and flowers tattooed all down her right arm.  What I’m trying to say is that I’m positive I would have remembered meeting her.  Anyway she walked right to where ...

Our irregular round-up of some new-ish cassette, CD-R and vinyl releases featuring Ghastly Spats, The Galaxy Folk, Bad//Dreems, Mad Nanna and the best punk band Australia has produced in ages, Helta Skelta. Words by TIM SCOTT . Ghastly Spats We're Breaking Through the Hymen (EP, Heinous Anus Records) Two dudes and two gals who break out smeared mascara and chipped black nail polish rock. It all sounds kind of feral. The music that a Hollywood production company would use for the soundtrack of an apocalyptic film shot in Marrickville. 'Sordid' has a pulsating and droney vocal chant/mumble while ...

“Hi everyone I’m Penfold.   Welcome to Penfold’s Wildlife Adventures.  In today’s episode you’ll follow along as I try to observe the legendary Wino and his latest musical accomplice Conny Ochs in their natural environment, the Heavy Kingdom.  That’s right friends!  I’m travelling deep into the heart of the Heavy Kingdom, and I don’t know what I’ll find once I get there.  All I know for certain is that I have to go.  This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!  Join me won’t you?” “Welcome back friends.  My crew and I ...

Great news waveriders.  This amazing album, and the entire Freak Kitchen catalog, is being reissued by Lasers Edge.  Land of Freaks is released 5/22.  Dig it and this classic Penfold review. “Hello everyone.  My name is Chef Penfold.  Welcome once again to ‘Cooking With Penfold’.  I’m very happy you could join me today.  Folks…wow, do we have a great show for you!  If this is the first time you’ve tuned in to the broadcast, allow me to fill you in on what you’ve missed.  At the beginning of last month, we here at ‘Cooking With ...

“Did you talk to the guy Penfold?” “You mean the wizened old metal head who hangs out down by the arts district?” “Yeah, the old head.  Did you talk to him about the band?” “I might have broached the subject.” “Don’t play games with me Penfold!  You know I don’t like to joke around when we’re talking about the band man!” “All right Gary, all right.  I’m sorry.  I know how much you care about this stuff.” “Dang right I do!  So what did the old head say?” “Well he was kind of vague when I ...

For a moment everyone on the ride thought there had been a mechanical malfunction.  One moment they’re slowly traveling through room after room celebrating Viking culture.  Then they enter a large open space featuring a miniaturized city besieged by a horde of Viking warriors; neatly laid out before their eyes.  All of a sudden the lights go out, the peaceful music disappears, and their pseudo-longship stops moving.  Moments later the lights come back on revealing four men dressed as pirates standing in front of the model city.  Two of them are holding guitars, another a keytar, and the last ...

This episode of Music Cops was filmed on location somewhere inside the continental United States of America.  We pick up the action riding along with Officer Penfold. Wednesday, 7:44 PM “Attention all units.  This is dispatch.  We have received reports of a four fifty-five in progress near the corner of Commonwealth and Main.  Multiple suspects.  All units in the vicinity please respond.” “Copy that dispatch.  This is Car Ripple.  I’m four blocks away from suspects’ location.  Officer Penfold en route.” “Transmission received Car Ripple.  Proceed with caution.” “Roger that dispatch.” The cameraman in the passenger seat keeps his ...

Day One: I drove right up to the hotel entrance.  It was the day the Undersight Hotel shut down for the winter season.  The hotel manager walked out to meet us with a big smile on his face. “Ah Mr. Penfold.  I see that you’ve brought your wife.” “Ha, good heavens no!  I’m not married.  This young lady’s name is Sonja.  We’re simply complimentary workers based on what we each do well.  Together we form the perfect hotel-caretaker.” “I see?  Well this must certainly be your child.” “Wrong again sir.  I’m only this young man ...

“Mr. Penfold, Mr. Corporate will see you now.” “Thank you ma’am.  I’ll see myself in.”  I stood up, lifted my briefcase, and marched into the businessman’s office prepared for battle. “Penfold, what took you so long?  I left that message on Jim’s phone three days ago.  You’re his representative.  What gives?” “Mr. Wilson informed me of your message later that day Mr. Corporate.” “Then you know we have some problems.” “Yes, I’m aware.” “Well did he tell you what the name of his album is going to be?  The president of my company, my ...

First attempt at teaching middle school age children history through song: “Greetings everyone!” “Mr. Penfold, why are you wearing that ridiculous wig?  And why are you wearing what appears to be a frilly long sleeved shirt that is at least two sizes too big for you along with some ancient looking flood pants and tights?” “Excellent questions Billy!  I’m wearing clothing similar to what was fashionable back when Christopher Columbus set out to reach the East Indies.” “What’s with the weird looking piano?” “This isn’t a piano Chris.  It’s a harpsichord.  I’m going to play ...

My producer gives me a countdown inside my earpiece.  “Three, two, one.  We’re live.” “Greetings fellow waveriders.  My name is Penfold.  Thank you for joining me this evening.  If you look back on my writings for The Ripple Effect you’ll discover that I enjoy telling a humorous, entertaining yarn.  It’s true.  I count humor as one of my greatest allies in the fight against musical disinterest.  Tonight however, I’m here to discuss a very serious topic that affects us all.  That’s right.  Not only does this issue affect grown men and women.  No!  It affects ...

Waveriders!  First of all, thank you all so much for popping in with us and checking out reviews on the "best music you're not listening to."  Our goal is for our writers to find music that truly excites them, then unleash themselves upon their keyboards to write missives and spread the word. We've been growing like crazy recently, as we've crossed over 3,000,000 hits and our staff keeps on expanding so here's a preview of what each week has in store for you.  Of course, sometimes things change because of schedules, but basically, here ...

I walked into the weekly wrap-up meeting with my chin lowered and a defeatist attitude. My boss, I was absolutely certain, was going to publicly browbeat me over my recent lack of production. Who could blame him? It had been three whole weeks since I had turned in my last writing assignment. Every one of my coworkers had been able to continuously churn out articles and stories with what appeared to be little or no effort while I floundered fruitlessly around my uninspired mind. Sure enough the questions began right after I sat down in my assigned roundtable seat. “Penfold ...

Admittedly a good chunk of time has elapsed since I made my first music purchase.  It was the spring of 1994.  I was still years away from obtaining my driver’s license, and perhaps more importantly my music fandom was still in its infancy.  Don’t get me wrong waveriders.  I’ve always loved music, but during that time period I had other things on my plate that sucked up much more of my free time; namely school and computer games.  However, the February release of Green Day’s Dookie apparently caused a shift in my priorities.  I used the ...

As the year draws to an end, as we're naturally prone to do, it's time to come up with our views on the albums that left the greatest impressions on our psyches. And just like last year, we're thrilled to be joining an ever-growing, impressive collection of like-minded music writers, who've all banded together to share their thoughts. At the end of this post, please check out the links to these other great sites and see their thoughts. Argue with us, agree with us, it's all intended to stimulate conversation. As for our list . . . well ...